AHHHH!! I'm turning 19 tomorrow! It honestly feels like I just turned 18! I already talked about this is my news post here but yeah! Just rerouted my new about page to the about button, released a zine you can see via the link on the home page and now I'm writing this. I got some of my brithday presents early since I was at my dads this weekend... I got a mini tv (for video games. small enough to fit sideways on my shelf) the book moominpappa at sea, new case for my watercolors, new nib holder for my dip pen nibs , new sketchbook, some candy and some misc sewing supplies! I'm also gonna go get some overalls next time I'm there that my grandparents are paying for! Hope I can find some good ones in my size... Sometimes I wish neocities had a built in dm feature or something, I always get such nice comments in my guestbook and I just wanna smother those people with thank yous!!! It feels kinda strange to go comment on their page or guestbook with a response though... idk maybe it's not so weird and I'm just awkward n shy lol. If you're one of those people who have left messages for me in my guestbook thank you so much!!! They make my day more than any other comment on any other website... it just feels more personal and genuine here! Not that I don't aprecciate nice comments on twitter or da or smth but its just something else here. oh! btw if anyone ever wishes to contact me it's ok to seek me out on other websites I'm kewl with that, might eventualy make a contact page with info and stuff.... another thing to add to the pile of stuff to do with this site.
HAPPY NEWYEAR... SORRY FOR NO UPDATES... I'LL SEE IF I CAN DO SOME MORE STUFF HERE TOWARDS THE END OF THE MONTH!
soooo... long time no update huh? I'm sorry about that, havent been in the best mood lately
and neocities is something i only do when i think its fun and relaxing to do you get? its not the only site i have been slacking with
using the internet at all has seemed kind of like a chore lately... mostly because of depression and stress and such, I want to give a propper life update but I'll have to give it later...
not in the mood to type much right now. dont worry though even if i take ''breaks'' sometimes i'm not giving up on the site or anything!
if i did i would at least make an announcement about it!
Today is the first day after trying a new sleep medecine. I can say that it worked for sure! Almost too well. I feel extremely lethargic and unmotivated to draw even if I really want to!
I really wanna make more fun pages for korssespace but I just fuckin... feel like shit.... sorry about that! I also have artfight!
I started on an attack for my friend Blook but now I just cant finish it! My brain feels like it has a heavy duvet over it... I'm super tired and restless at the same time!
It sucks! Not that restlessness and fatiuge is something I'm not familiar with but still!
I also wanna try taking some photos and drawing over them, adding things that werent there before like my fursona/mascot Thunder and or other props and ocs.
I'll get an oppertunity to take some pictures when we go to visit family in a few days... but speaking of Thunder! I've been thinking more about how I call her my fursona but she really isnt me at all.
I made her to be a cool deviantart oc in 2010 (shes turning 9 years old on 9/9/2019 lol) but I can't completely sepperate her either. Shes such a big part of my childhood!!
idk... I try over and over again to make fursonas that acctualy look and act like me but thats so boooring! I like Thunder. She's everything I'm not but that I find fun!
So I always return to her... I just hope that people dont asume I'm a girl just because my fursona is.
She didnt even start out as my fursona but rather as a pokemon oc, tough she very quickly became sentral in my artistic identity.
Just dumped a lot of art on the site and made some very stupid minor edits here and there. im sorry im so absent and havent gotten much done.
im generaly feeling very worried for the world right now as well as my place in it. my birthday is coming up in 8 days so theres also a lot of stress relating to you know...
growing up and ''becoming an adult'' whatever that means. other than that i've just been very low energy and been just wondering about lots of stuff, like am i ever gonna live to see
the day where nonbinary people like myself can just exsist in the world without question and have that be ok? i mean it really would be all i ever asked for. though i while i hate it
i have a creeping feeling that things are just gonna get worse and worse for nonbinary people in the near future, with fascism being all the rage and all that. hard to belive how
heartless some people can be... i dont think i could hate anyone as much as those pigs do even if i wanted to besides well. maybe i can hate fascists as much as they probably hate me lol
I've been pretty lonely too. It's kind of hard to reach out to my firends since they're often so busy with all kinds of stuff! not that i blame them or anything ofc!
they have their lives to live and i have mine, and the time they choose to spend on me isnt a gift i take lightly. still... even when i have so much fun with them i still feel
a little lonely. i cant quite put my finger on what kind of loneliness though... existential? or maybe im just bored. hey. maybe i should start a relationship or smth,
not that theres anyone specific i have a crush on, never really had ''crushes'' not in the conventional way at least. eh.. im probably not ready for love anyways.
i mean i've never tried but i've been doing great on my own so far, i should prob just go outside more. the tought of someone to live in comfort with- (and by that i mean.
someone to spend like 14 hours on call with just reading fucking yahoo awnsers or smth + the benefit of like... trust and pda i guess) - is appealing regardlesssss!
BUT YES!! DIDNT MEAN TO WRITE A WHOLE FUCKING ESSAY ABOUT WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO LATELY BUT OFF I GO I GUESS.
AND OHH!!! also. i got a new fursona i guess! dont worry thunder isnt going anywhere but its nice to finaly have a fursona whos literaly a self insert for once.
hey im sowwy im so slow with updating. esp art and stuff! dont worry im still working on the site
its just that i gotta lotta irl stuff going on. low energy... low mood... the usual
whoa one month ani for the site and thank you for 2000 hits!!! i was gonna put off writing updates and
logs and stuff til my main pages for the site were ready but here we are! thank u sm tho! now look at this: